DANGEROUS BECAUSE IT HAS A PHILOSOPHY
by Ian Driscoll
In Videodrome, shortly before the arrival of the least sexy waiter in the history of cinema (no link for this, you’ll just have to go rent the movie), Max Renn (James Woods, no hyperlink needed) and Masha (Lynne Gorman, IMDb listing not interesting enough to link to) share the following exchange on the nature of the phantom Videodrome signal Renn is tracking:
MASHA
Videodrome is something for you to leave alone. Videodrome. What you see on that show, it's for real. It's not acting. It's snuff TV.
MAX RENN
I don't believe it.
MASHA
So, don't believe.
MAX RENN
Why do it for real? It's easier and safer to fake it.
MASHA
Because it has something that you don't have, Max. It has a philosophy. And that is what makes it dangerous.
That, in a nutshell, is how I feel about the Cultural
Gutter. It’s dangerous because it has a philosophy.
What are the tenets of that philosophy? I’m pretty sure it’s
post-po-mo, and believes we’ve gone beyond any sort of central or authoritative
narrative (and contends that’s really the central metaphor of Diary of the
Dead). Yet at the same time it abhors
aintitcoolnews’ (not linked on principle) onanistic abuse of the exclamation
point.
The Gutter would rather watch Turner Classic Movies than
AMC, even though it’s kind of creeped out by Ted Turner, because it believes
movies are meant to be seen in their proper aspect ratio, and from beginning to
end without commercial interruption. (It admires David Lynch for his stand
on this, among other things.)
The Gutter went to shoot-along screenings of The Killer back in the 90s, and got that out of its system.
Now, it makes an ominous half-turn to stare down people who talk during movies.
It gets up and exits the cinema to complain if the film goes out of focus, or
if the sound is bad. Insofar as this goes, the Gutter may be bit of a cranky
old man. It definitely likes wearing cardigans, though part of this is in
homage to Bob Newhart.
It’s still kind of angry about the replacement of unionized
projectionists with pimply-faced candy-bar staff. It believes the projectionist
is the last member of the film crew, and the one with the most power.
It believes that even though the seventh
art is
a latecomer, it’s still an art form.
And yeah, it kind of always wanted to French kiss a television.
So, why put yourself out there? Why write several hundred
words a month? Why imagine your opinion matters to anyone, or that you have
anything of value to contribute? Why do it for real, when it’s easier and safer
to fake it? Maybe simply because stuff can’t be uncommunicated, and because a
bullet in the right place can change the world, but it’s no substitute for a
good meme.
Or maybe because the battle for the mind of North America
will be fought in the Gutter. The Gutter is the retina of the mind's eye.
Therefore, the Gutter is part of the physical structure of the brain.
Therefore, whatever appears on the Gutter emerges as raw experience for those
who read it. Therefore, the Gutter is reality, and reality is less than the
Gutter.
You could think on that. Or you could ignore this article
entirely and watch the version of Videodrome Brian O’Blivion would watch - all the
good bits - in eight minutes and 29 seconds. (Courtesy of The Cut Up).
Either way, keep tuning in to The Cultural Gutter - the one
you take to bed with you.
Command+s.
Ian Driscoll is sure you’ll forgive him if he doesn’t stay
around to watch. He just can't cope with the freaky stuff.
Tags: Bob Newhart , cardigans , Dada , David Cronenberg , David Lynch , George Romero , guns , James Woods , John Woo , manifestos , memes , metafiction , postmodernism , seventh art , Tristan Tzara
i ended up watching capricorn one on TCM the other day, in its correct aspect ratio and in its entirety. it's like an inversion of videodrome--making the fake seem real. and everyone's dangerous because they end up with a philosophy--or lose one by the end.
so i guess i'm wondering if the gutter's up there in a biplane with elliot gould and telly savalas, pulling culture everyone believes is dead onto its wings and then barnstorming for all it's worth.
i hope so.
—Carol Borden
I still remember going to see a Mamet play years ago, and after shushing some rowdy teenagers, I overheard them say, "I think the old guy is mad at us!" I was, like, 27! Maybe I should have stuck to the "ominous half-turn" rather than saying anything out loud :)
—James Schellenberg
So are you saying that the Gutter is The New Flesh? If so, long live it!
—Andrew Lapointe
I don't have cable right now so I'm rewatching old shows and movies. A lot of them are animated. Such is my way. I'd like to have a nobler reason for rewatching them--something like when James 
Let's say you're the newly-sentient internet. How would you decipher
the meaning of all the bits and bytes whizzing past you? And what about
the real world outside your electronic realm?
Former Comics Editor, Guy Leshinski
has very kindly given us permission to reprint a prophetic interview
with Bryan Lee O'Malley in 2005. Will Bryan Lee O'Malley attain the
Holy Grail of cartoonists? As Bryan says, "We'll see..."